First day of 3rd grade:
So proud of my kiddos.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
"This is the way it is now."
I was talking to my neighbor the other day, who also happens to be Joe's assistant coach for Liam's football team, and he says "I asked Joe if he was going to Orlando with you and the kids and he said 'No, I wasn't invited'." "This is the way it is now", I replied.
I took the kids on "family vacation", except, we weren't quite a whole family. This is how it is now, I thought to myself.
Me and Liam experienced our first zip line together, which was awesome! As much as I loved having an experience just between me and Liam, I was a sad for both of us that we didn't have Joe to share it with. This is just how it is now.
I had received some bad news on Monday and my first instinct was to call Joe and talk to him about it. But I didn't. I had to remind myself that he's not my partner anymore. My problems are not his problems anymore. It's hard. Even after all these months apart. This is how it is from now on.
No matter how I say it, it still breaks my heart everyday when a situation slaps me in the face that this is just the way it is now.
I took the kids on "family vacation", except, we weren't quite a whole family. This is how it is now, I thought to myself.
Me and Liam experienced our first zip line together, which was awesome! As much as I loved having an experience just between me and Liam, I was a sad for both of us that we didn't have Joe to share it with. This is just how it is now.
I had received some bad news on Monday and my first instinct was to call Joe and talk to him about it. But I didn't. I had to remind myself that he's not my partner anymore. My problems are not his problems anymore. It's hard. Even after all these months apart. This is how it is from now on.
No matter how I say it, it still breaks my heart everyday when a situation slaps me in the face that this is just the way it is now.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
I'm on vacation
Hi. You've reached Debbie at complete debbiness. I've checked out of my real life for a few days and have gone to an alternate universe where princesses and big mice run the world. Also known as, Orlando. Please check back in a few days. I'll tell you all about it when I return. Have a great week everyone.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Mom Guilt
Every summer since Liam started school, I always have these grand plans of making sure we do lots of educational stuff over the summer so he doesn't "lose" what he's learned over the previous school year. I even sign up for home school-type websites so him and Jill could complete lessons all summer long and get a head start on the school year. And, in theory, it sounds like it should just be that easy. Set him up in front of the computer to complete a lesson. But then the complaining starts. Then the whining. I have to physically be sitting next to him in order for him to actually sit still and concentrate on what he's doing. And then I get turned off to the whole idea. Since Kindergarten, Liam and I have gotten into all out screaming matches over doing homework. I HATE TRYING TO BE MY KIDS' TEACHER! And I feel so guilty about it because I want to like being the one to work with them at home and feel so accomplished when I teach them something. In my fantasy, it's all butterflies and rainbows. I show/tell them something, and - BAM - they learn it! But the fact is, I just don't. I just do not have the patience for when they try to play dumb with me. It sets me right off.
For instance, working with Liam for months on his math homework. Then, he decides he just wants to be pissy and difficult about doing math homework. So I ask him something simple like "OK Liam, after adding this column, which number do we carry over into the tens column?" "Um, I don't know. 3?" "Where did you get 3 from? We've just done five equations just like this one and all of a sudden you don't know what 8+3 is?" "I forget." To me, this is "playing dumb" and I immediately go into a ballistic rage. Sounds terrible, I know.
Trying to work with Jillian on her reading this summer. One night, she starts reading this book and I was so impressed, I had no idea she knew so many words already. So we read this same book a few nights in a row for practice. So one night, she all of a sudden doesn't know any of the words. We're reading the title and I say, "OK Jill, what is this word?" Literally, she makes this sound that is not a letter or a word or even a combination of letters. Just like a grunty type sound and, of course, she thinks this is just hysterical. I say, "what? Jill, what is this word?" She makes the noise again. I say, "Jill, you've read this word everyday for 3 days now. What is this word?" "I don't know." I can't take it. To me, this is "playing dumb". I want to take the book, throw it across the room and scream at the top of my lungs. We haven't read together since.
It's so very frustrating. Maybe I take this "playing dumb" thing a little too seriously. I mean, I understand that their little minds are still developing and that they work different from an adult's mind and that they might *actually* forget how to read a certain word from one sentence to the next but it makes me crazy! And I feel so guilty for not having more patience with them when it comes to teaching them. I have actually made Liam cry from chastising him over his reading, especially in the beginning. I hate knowing that I made my Liam cry and feel bad about himself so I apologize profusely. I blame him, he blames me. It's just a big vicious cycle. So, in my mind, I would rather just not "go there" then have it end in a big fight where everyone is frustrated and discouraged and mad.
As a parent, you put a lot of pressure on yourself that you should LOVE to do and be everything to your kids. But that's not very realistic. I feel like I have so much patience in other areas with them. (just dealing with Jillian and her high maintenance-ness on a daily basis is an act of sainthood, trust me) Just not this one. I guess all I can do is strive to be better the next time. Half the battle is admitting you have a problem, right?
For instance, working with Liam for months on his math homework. Then, he decides he just wants to be pissy and difficult about doing math homework. So I ask him something simple like "OK Liam, after adding this column, which number do we carry over into the tens column?" "Um, I don't know. 3?" "Where did you get 3 from? We've just done five equations just like this one and all of a sudden you don't know what 8+3 is?" "I forget." To me, this is "playing dumb" and I immediately go into a ballistic rage. Sounds terrible, I know.
Trying to work with Jillian on her reading this summer. One night, she starts reading this book and I was so impressed, I had no idea she knew so many words already. So we read this same book a few nights in a row for practice. So one night, she all of a sudden doesn't know any of the words. We're reading the title and I say, "OK Jill, what is this word?" Literally, she makes this sound that is not a letter or a word or even a combination of letters. Just like a grunty type sound and, of course, she thinks this is just hysterical. I say, "what? Jill, what is this word?" She makes the noise again. I say, "Jill, you've read this word everyday for 3 days now. What is this word?" "I don't know." I can't take it. To me, this is "playing dumb". I want to take the book, throw it across the room and scream at the top of my lungs. We haven't read together since.
It's so very frustrating. Maybe I take this "playing dumb" thing a little too seriously. I mean, I understand that their little minds are still developing and that they work different from an adult's mind and that they might *actually* forget how to read a certain word from one sentence to the next but it makes me crazy! And I feel so guilty for not having more patience with them when it comes to teaching them. I have actually made Liam cry from chastising him over his reading, especially in the beginning. I hate knowing that I made my Liam cry and feel bad about himself so I apologize profusely. I blame him, he blames me. It's just a big vicious cycle. So, in my mind, I would rather just not "go there" then have it end in a big fight where everyone is frustrated and discouraged and mad.
As a parent, you put a lot of pressure on yourself that you should LOVE to do and be everything to your kids. But that's not very realistic. I feel like I have so much patience in other areas with them. (just dealing with Jillian and her high maintenance-ness on a daily basis is an act of sainthood, trust me) Just not this one. I guess all I can do is strive to be better the next time. Half the battle is admitting you have a problem, right?
Friday, August 5, 2011
Bye bye summer...
OMG, can't believe summer is coming to an end. At the beginning, it always seems SO LONG until school starts again. Now, it's only 2 weeks away. Today is Jill's official last day of daycare. I have been paying for full time private daycare since March 2003. 8 1/2 years.
Next week my dad is watching the kids. Ever since he moved in with his sister we hardly see him anymore. I think I've seen him 3 times this entire year so far. Ridiculous, I know, since he lives less than 30 min away. So it will be nice for the kids to spend some time with him.
The following week I will be on vaca with them. I'll be taking them to the Orlando area for a few days. Doing non-Disney stuff. I'm really looking forward to a few days alone with the kids to just chill and relax.
This is the time of year when someone hits the fast forward button on my life. Liam has football 3x a week, school starts, my bday, Jill's bday, trip to the west coast for my niece's bday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Liam's bday, start of soccer, Christmas, New Year's. And tons of stuff in between. Busy, busy, busy.
Another half a year gone. Another summer gone by. Another gray hair on my head and wrinkle around my eyes.
Next week my dad is watching the kids. Ever since he moved in with his sister we hardly see him anymore. I think I've seen him 3 times this entire year so far. Ridiculous, I know, since he lives less than 30 min away. So it will be nice for the kids to spend some time with him.
The following week I will be on vaca with them. I'll be taking them to the Orlando area for a few days. Doing non-Disney stuff. I'm really looking forward to a few days alone with the kids to just chill and relax.
This is the time of year when someone hits the fast forward button on my life. Liam has football 3x a week, school starts, my bday, Jill's bday, trip to the west coast for my niece's bday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Liam's bday, start of soccer, Christmas, New Year's. And tons of stuff in between. Busy, busy, busy.
Another half a year gone. Another summer gone by. Another gray hair on my head and wrinkle around my eyes.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
What a trooper!
Liam has been so good through all this orthodontic stuff. In December he got his "appliance" installed. It's a device attached to his palate to widen the top jaw. The day he got it installed he had this weird thing where he wouldn't swallow his saliva and he puffed his cheeks up like a puffer fish all day. Aside from all the drooling and spitting he wouldn't eat or drink all day. We kept explaining to him that he could just act like normal and reminded him to swallow and tried to get him to eat and drink all day. But he just wouldn't. The office had warned us that the device would probably make him produce extra saliva and I guess he was swallowing some of it since he woke up in the middle of the night and started vomiting straight saliva. Poor kid. The next day he went back to eating, drinking, and swallowing like normal. He uses a special device to scoop out any trapped food inside of it. He never once complained about anything.
In March, he had his top braces put on. Everyone kept saying things like "oh, just wait until they adjust them, it hurts". We have to use special little brushes to floss under the braces. He never once complained about anything.
In July, he had 4 bottom molars pulled. They never fully erupted and x-rays revealed they were fused to the bone and would most likely prevent his permanent teeth from coming out properly. I watched the oral surgeon pull out all 4 teeth and nearly fainted no less than 3 times. He was on gas and Novacaine and never felt a thing. On the car ride home he was all groggy coming off the gas. All of a sudden I just hear heaving coming from the back seat. I look back and Liam has vomited all the blood he had been swallowing all over himself. He was so groggy that he was just in a sitting position and had this bloody vomit dripping off his chin and down the front of his shirt. It was a pleasant visual as I'm trying to drive home. He could only eat soft foods and couldn't eat any candy or drink from a straw for 5 days. The tooth fairy brought him $10 for all his troubles. He never once complained about anything.
A few days ago, he got a spacer bar installed on the bottom row of teeth so that his teeth don't shift into the now empty areas where his molars used to be. So far, he hasn't complained.
In 5 weeks he gets his bottom braces put on. Literally every square inch of the kids mouth will have some sort of orthodontic device installed. I keep telling him that one day all of this will be worth it. I sure as heck hope so.
In March, he had his top braces put on. Everyone kept saying things like "oh, just wait until they adjust them, it hurts". We have to use special little brushes to floss under the braces. He never once complained about anything.
In July, he had 4 bottom molars pulled. They never fully erupted and x-rays revealed they were fused to the bone and would most likely prevent his permanent teeth from coming out properly. I watched the oral surgeon pull out all 4 teeth and nearly fainted no less than 3 times. He was on gas and Novacaine and never felt a thing. On the car ride home he was all groggy coming off the gas. All of a sudden I just hear heaving coming from the back seat. I look back and Liam has vomited all the blood he had been swallowing all over himself. He was so groggy that he was just in a sitting position and had this bloody vomit dripping off his chin and down the front of his shirt. It was a pleasant visual as I'm trying to drive home. He could only eat soft foods and couldn't eat any candy or drink from a straw for 5 days. The tooth fairy brought him $10 for all his troubles. He never once complained about anything.
A few days ago, he got a spacer bar installed on the bottom row of teeth so that his teeth don't shift into the now empty areas where his molars used to be. So far, he hasn't complained.
In 5 weeks he gets his bottom braces put on. Literally every square inch of the kids mouth will have some sort of orthodontic device installed. I keep telling him that one day all of this will be worth it. I sure as heck hope so.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Will I ever be able to eat in peace again?
Scene: At Home
Me: "Liam, would you like some crackers?"
Liam: "No thanks."
Me, opening package of crackers, ~~ crinkle, crinkle~~
Liam: "Can I have one?"
Me: "Sure, but didn't I just ask you if you wanted crackers? Why didn't you tell me you wanted some?"
Liam: "Well, I didn't know it was these crackers. I like these crackers." (takes two crackers)
Jill: "Can I have one Mommy?"
Me: "Sure, here you go, Jilly Jill."
Jill: (drops cracker on floor) "Can I have another one?"
Me: "Here."
Me: (hands Jill the rest of the package). ~~ confused look ~~
Scene: At the Waterpark
Me: "OK, let's go get some snacks. Liam and Jill, what do you want?"
Liam: "Ice cream!"
Jill: "Ice cream!"
Me: "I want an ICEE!"
(head back to our chairs)
Liam: "Mommy, can I have some of your ICEE?"
Jill: "Mommy, can I have some of your ICEE?"
(hands me back 1/2 gone ICEE)
Me: "Guys, if you wanted an ICEE why didn't you just say you wanted an ICEE? Now half my ICEE is gone."
Liam: "I thought an ICEE was ice cream."
Me: ~~ confused look ~~
Scene: At a Restaurant
(soup that I order comes to table)
Jill: "Mommy, can I taste your soup?"
Me: "Sure."
Jill: (takes a sip then starts pulling bowl toward her)
Me: "Jill, that's my soup. I would like to have some."
Jill: "But I like it."
Me: ~~ confused look ~~
Scene: Eating take out at home
(ordering thai food. I asked Liam if he would like some of "the chicken and noodles that you really like [pad si ew]. he declines, says he would like waffles for dinner. I order for me and Jill and we're sitting down to eat)
Liam: "That's so unfair, how come Jill gets chicken and noodles?"
Me: "Liam, I asked you if you wanted some when I was ordering, you said no."
Liam: "But, I love those chicken and noodles."
Me: "I know Liam, that's why I asked you if you would like some."
Liam: "Well, I want some now."
Me: "Well, let me call up the Thai chef and ask him to come over to make you some."
Liam: "OK."
Me: (he proceeds to eat half the order) ~~ confused look ~~
When does it end?
Me: "Liam, would you like some crackers?"
Liam: "No thanks."
Me, opening package of crackers, ~~ crinkle, crinkle~~
Liam: "Can I have one?"
Me: "Sure, but didn't I just ask you if you wanted crackers? Why didn't you tell me you wanted some?"
Liam: "Well, I didn't know it was these crackers. I like these crackers." (takes two crackers)
Jill: "Can I have one Mommy?"
Me: "Sure, here you go, Jilly Jill."
Jill: (drops cracker on floor) "Can I have another one?"
Me: "Here."
Me: (hands Jill the rest of the package). ~~ confused look ~~
Scene: At the Waterpark
Me: "OK, let's go get some snacks. Liam and Jill, what do you want?"
Liam: "Ice cream!"
Jill: "Ice cream!"
Me: "I want an ICEE!"
(head back to our chairs)
Liam: "Mommy, can I have some of your ICEE?"
Jill: "Mommy, can I have some of your ICEE?"
(hands me back 1/2 gone ICEE)
Me: "Guys, if you wanted an ICEE why didn't you just say you wanted an ICEE? Now half my ICEE is gone."
Liam: "I thought an ICEE was ice cream."
Me: ~~ confused look ~~
Scene: At a Restaurant
(soup that I order comes to table)
Jill: "Mommy, can I taste your soup?"
Me: "Sure."
Jill: (takes a sip then starts pulling bowl toward her)
Me: "Jill, that's my soup. I would like to have some."
Jill: "But I like it."
Me: ~~ confused look ~~
Scene: Eating take out at home
(ordering thai food. I asked Liam if he would like some of "the chicken and noodles that you really like [pad si ew]. he declines, says he would like waffles for dinner. I order for me and Jill and we're sitting down to eat)
Liam: "That's so unfair, how come Jill gets chicken and noodles?"
Me: "Liam, I asked you if you wanted some when I was ordering, you said no."
Liam: "But, I love those chicken and noodles."
Me: "I know Liam, that's why I asked you if you would like some."
Liam: "Well, I want some now."
Me: "Well, let me call up the Thai chef and ask him to come over to make you some."
Liam: "OK."
Me: (he proceeds to eat half the order) ~~ confused look ~~
When does it end?
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