Paddle boarding

Me and the girls went paddle boarding on Memorial Day.  It was a lot of fun!  When I first stood up my legs were shaking like crazy.  Then I realized that I wasn't locking my knees so I was basically holding myself in a squatting position.  My legs are killing me now!  Here are some pics.  Jody had to teeter on her board to get the ones of me!

Seriously guys...

There is something wrong with my brain.  In March, I got the kids some name-written-on-a-grain-of-rice-necklace presents from Bayside (in Miami). So on one side of the rice is their name and on the other side I had their birthday written on it.  So I give Liam his and as I'm showing him how his name is written on one side and his birthday on the other side.  He goes, "I love it, but that's not my birthday".  So I then realize I had his birthday written as 11-26-02.  OMG.  I felt terrible.

I remember standing at the kiosk writing their full names and birthdays down for the guy to write on the rice and just so naturally I wrote 11-26-02.  It never even clicked that that is NOT his birth date.  It's not like I don't have his birthdate TATTOOED ON MY BODY as a permanent reminder or anything!!  OMG, what is wrong with my brain?

Liam loves it and wears it anyway and never asked for a new one.  "Ha ha, this will be one of those things we laugh about in 10 years, Liam..."

Well, THAT was embarrassing...

I don't get embarrassed easily.  Really, I don't.  But, OMG, what I did this weekend was so embarrassing...

I took the kids to the mall and we parked right outside of Kohl's.  Same exact area I ALWAYS park when I go to Kohl's.  So we go in, do our thing, and leave.  So we walk right over to where we parked, very first spot in the row, and it's empty.  Totally empty.  So I'm like "guys, is this where we parked?"  They said, "yes, this is where we parked".  We ALL remember parking right in the very first spot right outside the doors.  So we took the time to walk around the lot a little bit, there weren't a ton of cars so I could see there wasn't another gray Accord to be found.  Ugh.  WTF?  Has my car been stolen?  "F@&k, my work computer was in the trunk!" I think to myself.  I ask the kids again, "ARE WE SURE WE PARKED RIGHT HERE?"  Everyone remembers parking RIGHT THERE!  In the empty spot.  Now I mention I have to call the cops and Jill completely panics.  She starts crying right then.  "Call Daddy, call daddy!"  (that girl cannot handle a stressful situation AT ALL!)  So I call Joe, no answer.  OK.  I see a police car driving through the parking lot and I flag him down. Tell him my sob story, and he asks "ARE YOU SURE YOU PARKED RIGHT THERE?"  Yes, we are ALL sure we parked right here.  So now HE flags down a security guard driving through the parking lot.  (By this time, I've gotten in touch with Joe and he is on his way to pick us up.)  The security guard says "get in, we'll drive around and look for the car".  So he turns the corner of Kohl's and I spot my car, right in the very first spot outside the doors of the OTHER Kohl's entrance.  Everything looked EXACTLY the same, it didn't even occur to me that maybe I was at the wrong entrance.  OMG.  I just almost died.  I apologized profusely and thanked him.  Then the cop car and Joe pull up to my car at pretty much the same exact moment.  I apologize profusely to the officer and thank him as well.  Joe is just sitting in his car laughing at me.  Every time I thought about it for the next 2 hours I couldn't help but laugh about it.  I felt like such an idiot...

Car Riders

So last week I had a few days off work.  The kids decided they wanted to be "car riders".  The kids that get picked up right after school, like from the car lane.  I came to realize that I have NEVER picked them up like this before.  Even before when I would have a day off work, I would just pick them up from after care early.  They were SO EXCITED to be car riders.  Jill said the funniest thing when we were discussing our picking-up-from-the-car-lane plan for the next day.  Her eyes got all wide and she said "but I don't know what to do if I'm a car rider!"  I laughed and said, "don't worry Jill, your teacher will help you."  They felt so prestigious being "car riders" for a few days.  Ugh, if only everything I did pleased them so much...

A bajillion sorrys to my Mom

I had quite the chip on my shoulder towards my parents when I was younger.  Pretty much the whole time I was younger.  And by "parents", of course, mostly I mean my mother.  I really HATED to be forced to do things that I didn't want to do.  Like go to family's house for special occasions or holidays.  Go to the grocery store.  School functions.  You name it.  If it didn't involve my very own plan of going to hang out with my very own friends I had no interest, and by God, she was going to pay for it!  I really had no regard whatsoever that my parents had NO CHOICE but to bring me wherever they went.  I didn't care at all.

Ugh.  What a horrible child I was.  Like my friend Andrea says about her own childhood, "what was I so angry about?!"  LOL.  Seriously.  No idea.

I deal with this very issue now with my darling Liam.  I don't know if it's just the too-cool-for-the-world stage but the kid gives me grief to do anything that does not involve staying home and hanging out with Sean.  It's tough.  A very typical conversation:

Me:  so guys, there's this cool planetarium show tonight that I wanted to bring you guys to.  what do you think?
Jillian:  YAY!  that sounds so cool!!  let's go!!
Liam:  ~~ crickets chirping, blank stare ~~  no.

He looks a little bit like grumpy cat:

[insert almost any situation here] and it's the same reaction.  Once I endure all the whining and complaining and once we're actually there he settles down and will usually enjoy himself.  Unlike me.  I would keep my sour face on the WHOLE time and my mother had to pay for it the WHOLE time.  Ugh.  And never once did she beat me.  I just don't know how she did it.  Actually, I just don't know if there are enough sorrys in the world...

How can someone hate food so much?

I have never, in my life, witnessed someone with such a natural aversion to food other than Liam.  He hates food and he hates to eat.  Literally, since the day he was born he has been like this.  It's weird.  I remember our first day in the hospital together trying to feed him a bottle.  I was having a very difficult time feeding him so the nurses showed me all these little tips and tricks to get "baby" to eat.  I did them ALL.  He would never latch on longer than a few sucks, then right back to sleep.  After about 45 min of trying to feed him a nurse called from the nursery to check on how much he had eaten.  I was so excited to tell her "he drank 1/2 an oz (out of a 2 oz bottle) of the bottle!", she said "that's not a good feeding".  I said, "well it took me 45 min to get him to drink that much!"  Over the years, it hasn't gotten much better than that.  I would worry so much over his eating habits that I have actually cried over it.  I have literally put him to bed on a growling stomach before because he would just absolutely refuse to eat.  Ever.  There was one point when he was 5th percentile on the weight chart.  That means that 95% of children his age weighed more than him.  He's still at least 10 lbs under weight.  For the most part I have learned to just accept this about Liam, but it still freaks me out.

But there is also this strange phenomenon with him where he eats for other people!  I remember my dad babysitting him one night and me saying "well, you know how he is with eating.  If you could get him to eat anything I would be happy".  So I get home and my dad goes on to tell me he ate eggs and potatoes and whatever else.  I cocked my head and said "Liam?  Liam ate all that?"  All foods I have made him before that he would never touch.  But all of this was mostly when he was younger.  He's gotten a little bit better since he's gotten older.  At least now he will mostly try new foods.  But in most situations he first reaction to food or mealtime is NO!  It really takes a lot of coaxing to get him in an eating mindset.

A lot of mealtimes turn into a big struggle with him.  There are times he approaches near meltdown stage when faced with the fact that he has to eat.  Especially, I notice, when you suggest going OUT to eat with him.  It starts with whining about how he doesn't want to stop whatever it is he is doing to go.  Then there's always lots of discussion about where or what we'll be eating.  That's almost always an issue.  The other day I wanted to take them out for tacos so I told him we were going to Tijuana Flats.  Right away the "I don't want tacos!  I don't want to go out to eat!" started.  (I know he likes tacos just fine.  It's not like I'm trying to force him to eat something he doesn't like!)  Pissy face and attitude the WHOLE time in the car.  "I'm not eating tacos!  I only want nachos!"  Fine, I order him nachos.  But of course they're not the right kind of nachos he wants.  So whining and complaining starts all over again.  After a few minutes of him getting himself into eating mode he notices how awesome my tacos look and says "I don't want these nachos.  I want a taco."  I just gave him an evil death stare.  There are definitely times when he just refuses to eat anything from a restaurant and will just sit there and wait until we get home to eat (or not).  I always wonder what the waitress thinks when I have to say "oh, he's not eating".  It is a literal feat when Liam actually finishes a meal.  It's a very rare thing.  A lot of times a white bread sandwich is too much food for him and he just can't finish it.

I tried the "making" him eat thing.  But that's very stressful for him (and for me).  I mean, who can eat when they're stressed and fighting with someone and down right pissed off?  (I know I can't!)  And, also, I just don't believe in it.  Liam has to listen to his body and what it is telling him.  (even when I don't understand it)  MAKING someone eat when they don't WANT to is pure torture.  And, honestly, I just don't have the follow through to stay on his ass for potentially hours to get him to finish ONE meal.  It never worked very well.  So now I just pull the "I'm not making you anything else to eat" and/or "If you don't eat your dinner you're not getting any junk food" card.  99% of the time that is just fine with him and he'll walk away.

I spent years catering to his food whims.  Making a separate meal just for him.  Bringing McDonalds into a restaurant so Joe and I could eat in peace (yes, we have really done that).  But I don't do that stuff anymore.  He's just getting too old for that.  It's unrealistic of me to keep up that ruse for him.  He has to make the decision for himself to start venturing out and trying new foods.  And if he doesn't, that's OK too.  Somehow what he does actually eat sustains his life.  He eats what I make or he doesn't eat.  Or he makes himself something.  That's our new rule.

I read in one of those baby books many years ago that as a parent it's your responsibility to offer your child a healthy and nutritious meal, NOT make them eat it.  Now, I actually try to live by that.  But Liam tries to give me the guilt trip when HE chooses not to eat.  "If I starve to death it will be YOUR fault!"  "No Liam, it will be YOUR fault.  I offered you food, YOU chose not to eat it."  And, yes, we have actually had that conversation.

I asked him the other day when he was being difficult about eating, "Liam, why do you hate eating so much?".  He said, "I don't know."  Not, "Mom, I don't hate eating" or "Mom, I just don't like this food", but instead, "I don't know".  So he knows.  It's an actual thing with him.

To me, eating is one of the most natural human instincts.  Like breathing and craving chicken wings.  This feeding your kids thing should be easy.  What's next?  Is he going to tell me he refuses to breathe!?

Jill's glasses

Jill has been wanting these hipster glasses since Christmas.  I wouldn't buy them for her because I thought they were ridiculous.  But then this happened:

 

I got glasses!  Just for reading.  Then she just HAD to have these:

How freaking cute is she in those glasses?  She even bought them with her own money.  They are a little big.  And that picture doesn't even do them justice.  She wears them ALL the time.  Even to school.  My little hipster.