Road rage much?

Alright, I wouldn't describe myself as a road rager.  But driving can definitely be an extremely frustrating experience for me.  Some people consider me a "scary" driver.  When I get in my car it's because I'm going somewhere.  And I want to get there.  In a timely fashion.  This does not mean I am some kind of crazy speed demon.  I am not (anymore).  I have gotten enough speeding tickets to know not to speed anymore.  This just means I get annoyed when people are in my way and prevent me from doing my ideal speed.  But I will do 5 over the speed limit.  So if the speed limit is 45 I will NEVER do more than 50.  I even use my cruise control to help me control my speed.  My frustration comes from other drivers.  As it does for all of us, I'm sure.  I mean, everybody thinks that they're a good driver and that driving mistakes are always the other drivers fault.

I am actually very forgiving to common driving mistakes.  Getting cut off or when someone is driving crazy slow.  Or, when you're stopped and someone wants to make a left from the right hand lane so they flag you down and ask if they can cut you off.  These are forgivable offenses to me because I also do them.  Hey, I've accidentally cut someone off.  Hey, sometimes I drive a little slow when I'm in an unfamiliar area and have to drive slow to find what I'm looking for.  These people do not usually bother me.  These are not end-of-the-world offenses.  Doing these things does NOT make you a "bad" driver.

Some things that truly bother me are the people who ride the merge lane ALL the way to end.  THESE are the people that cause traffic!  Because, ultimately, they either have to stop completely OR cut someone off (causing them to screech to a halt)  to get into traffic.  (and in turn, the people who never let anyone merge in are just as guilty!)  These people should be shot.  But I do have a funny story about a merge lane asshole that I will write at the bottom.  Also, when people pull in front of me to go 10 mph slower than me.  I will literally ride their ass.  This annoys me to no end.  I think this is the biggest reason why some people consider me a "scary" driver.  Doing these things DOES make you a "bad" driver.

Other things that bother me:  people who don't accelerate through turns.  I drive a stick people, I practically stall out following you through a 5 mph turn!  The texters who hold up all of traffic.  I guess they think they're being "safe" doing 20 in a 35 so that they can pay better attention to their texting.  Then there's the guy that cuts across 5 lanes of traffic on the highway to make his exit.  Because apparently, he didn't realize his exit was coming up for the last 5+ miles he was driving.

The other day I was following this guy who suddenly pulled into the next lane.  I was like "geez, why did he do that?"  Oh, because there was a huge piece of debris in the road that I had about 2 car lengths to swerve around and avoid myself.  Thanks asshole for waiting so long to move over.  Then, I was driving behind this guy who just wouldn't accelerate after we turned so I suppose I was driving a little too close.  When I finally got fed up and went to pass him, he sped up and wouldn't let me by!  Oh, I was pissed and actually yelling!  Then we both turned into the same parking lot and ran into the sub line at Publix.  Awkward!

But you know how it is.  When you're driving your own car you feel so in control of what you're doing.  If other people would just follow my logic, it would be perfect!

So, my merge lane asshole story:  I was driving in my car one day with my mother.  We're chatting away and approaching an area I know to have a merge lane.  I just happened to notice this one driver not taking his chance to merge into traffic and I start getting super annoyed with him.  So we're driving side by side now and out loud I'm like "oh no, you're not getting in front of me jerk, you had your chance and you didn't take it!"  My Mom is like "deborah, just let him in".  I start yelling "No way!  What an idiot!  I'm not letting him in!"  We are almost down to the end of the merge lane and we're still battling each other.  My Mom is just freaking out at this point.  In the end, my car just didn't have the HP to beat him.  But I was so mad!  Afterwards, I started laughing and my Mom was just having an absolute heart attack.  I just laughed so hard even typing that out.  It still makes me chuckle to think about it.

Be safe out there people and watch out for those crazy drivers!

What driving offenses drive you crazy?

Geniuses

I hired a handyman service called "Genius Home Repair" to replace the exterior garage door (not the automatic garage door, but a regular sized door) in my house.  When they were about to put it in the guy asked me which way I want it installed.  Whether I want it to swing in our out.  I just thought to myself "I really don't care".  And that's what I said to him.  So he responds with, "well, ideally you would want the weather stripping to be to the outside" (which would make the door swing into the garage).  I was like, "OK".  Turns out this is the wrong way to install the door.  Rule, exterior doors should always swing OUT.  They spend 3 hrs installing the door and it actually looks really good when they leave.  About 2 hrs later we have a massive downpour and the bottom of the door is letting rain in like crazy, flooding my garage.  When the guys were there, the doorknob was working just fine.  As soon as they leave, I can't open the door.  The doorknob was not working at all.  This was actually a faulty doorknob and had nothing to do with the guys.  So, then, I had to go out and buy a new doorknob (and it took me about 20 min to get the old doorknob off.  I was ready to kill someone!).  But I'm so frustrated at this point because my garage is flooded and I can't open the door that I call Joe and bitch to him what happened.  He's like "of course it's flooding, they put the door in backwards!  There's only ONE way to install an exterior door."  I'm like "well then why in the world would they ASK me which way I wanted it installed!?"  Honestly, I felt kind of stupid that I told them I didn't care which way it was installed.  I guess I just didn't realize it would actually make a difference.  It does people!  So he calls them up and leaves a message that they installed the door backwards.  By Sunday morning neither one of us has heard back from them.  So I call and leave a message.  One of the guys calls back and says they'll be there by 12 to fix it.  When they showed up, they literally, said nothing to me.  Ha, I think they felt stupid about their mistake.  So they spend the next 2 hrs turning the door around.  But in the process, they ruined all the brick molding on the outside (which they charged me over $100 for) and didn't have any to replace it.  So they have to come back sometime this week to finish the outside trim.

Geniuses.

I'm in love

with mobile/online food ordering.  OMG, it is the best thing EVER.  Well, maybe the best thing since DVR* at least.  I almost don't even want to go to places that don't do it.  The other day, I walked past a line at Moe's that was all the way to the door.  Straight up to the register.  They handed me my order and I was outta there.  Later suckas!  There is no longer a need to stand in line with the rest of the schmoes anymore.  Amazing.  Try it!  What will they think of next?

* I don't know if this is actually true or not since I don't actually have DVR.  But, other people tell me how life changing it is so I will trust them.

5 things I hope to NEVER mutter on my death bed

If I say any of these things when reflecting back on my life, I definitely did it wrong.

"I wish I had spent less time with my kids and more time partying with my friends."

"I wish I hadn't taken that trip to Ireland.  It was WAY too expensive!"

"I wish I had never told that guy I liked him.  It would've been really embarrassing if he had rejected me."

"I wish I would've spent more time working and less time with my beautiful grandbabies."

"I should've eaten more salad and less McDonald's."

What would you guys add?

No more braces!

After 13 mos, the braces finally come off!  Dang, this kid is handsome! But I feel I may be a little biased.

Cabin fever

I've been dying to travel lately.  I haven't been out of town since Aug 2011 when I took the kids to Orlando.  Seriously, 8 mos with out going out of town?  UGH!  But what to do?  Where to go?  I have two big trips coming up this year that I should be am saving for.  NJ for a week in Aug.  And Ireland for 8 days in Dec (I still owe you a post about my upcoming trip to Ireland!).  But both those trips seem SO FAR away.  I just want a little weekend getaway somewhere that isn't going to cost an arm and a leg.  I don't even mind going alone.  Somewhere I've never been would be nice.  I've lived in South Florida for 24 years and there's so many places I haven't been around here.

What do you guys do when you start getting that itch to get out of town?