I hate Halloween.

It is the dumbest holiday ever.  I can't wait until it's over.  I can't wait until my kids outgrow it and don't want to dress up anymore.

But I do like to see all the cute little dressed up kids saying "trick or treat" at my door.

And we have a whole street in our neighborhood where they go crazy and decorate.  Strobe lights, fog machines, scary music, the works.  Scares the heck out of the kids.  That's fun.  And mean.

I have these neighbors, who grew up in this country, and they just don't celebrate Halloween.  Their kids have never dressed up or gone trick or treating.  I, honestly, never knew this was even an option.  When I had kids, I just assumed that we would always celebrate Halloween.  I mean, my dislike for the holiday only started as an adult.  When I was a kid, I loved Halloween as much as the next kid.

I'm thinking my neighbors have the right idea.  But then again, this is one of those things that could potentially make you "weird" amongst your friends as you grow up.  I don't want to do that to my kids.  Plus, some of our fondest memories looking back at our childhoods always involves Halloween.  I want to give that to my kids.

So I guess I'll continue to do the Halloween thing for my current kids but if I have anymore babies, they're SOL!

Oh, It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown is on tonight at 8pm EST.  Come on, who didn't love watching that as a kid?

Sometimes...

Sometimes I just don't want to do it anymore.  I don't want to wake up early anymore.  Go to work anymore.  Help with homework anymore.  Clean my house anymore.  Pay bills anymore.  Sit through another episode of Dragon Ball Z Kai or iCarly anymore.  Sometimes, I just don't want to be a grown up anymore.

Sometimes I just want to scoop up my family and move to the Galapagos Islands.  And live out the rest of our days amidst nothing.  Money doesn't exist.  School doesn't exist.  Bad things don't exist.  Drama doesn't exist.

Sometimes I just want to lock my kids in a big bubble to keep out the rest of the world.  The state of the world is so scary to me sometimes it is literally overwhelming.  I freak out about it.  I don't want my kids to even know about it.  About the "bad" stuff out there.  There's no need for them to know.  But one day they will know and they will need to be prepared.

Sometimes I will see a baby picture of one of my kids and I can barely even remember when they were that little.  Then I get all worried I will not remember anything about their childhoods.  Time is moving so fast anyway, how can I keep all these memories in my head?

But in reality I know that I cannot really do any of these things.  The scariest thing I'm realizing about being a parent is that one day I will not be the one making their decisions anymore.  It will be all them.  And the true job of a parent is making sure they are prepared, not shielding them, for the big bad world.  It's a daunting task for sure.

And sometimes, I realize that my mother probably had all these same feelings and I feel bad I wasn't a better daughter to her.

I LOVE Netflix!!

I have started using streaming Netflix (through PS3) to catch up on old TV shows.  First, I refamiliarized myself with Arrested Development.  OMG, one of the funniest shows EVER on TV.  I loved it when it was on the air and rewatching all the episodes just reminded me how twisted that show really was.  Totally developed a crush on Jason Bateman.  NOBODY else could've played Michael Bluth.


Then, it took me a couple of months to watch all 6 seasons of Nip/Tuck.  I was years late on that one.  I think the show started in 2004 and ended in 2009.  Really good show.  Had some extremely over the top situations happen to those guys.  Kind of like Big Love (which I also loved).  Makes you wonder if stuff like that REALLY happens to people in the world.  Totally developed a crush on Dr. Christian Troy.  What a cutie :)

I recently just got totally caught up on 30 Rock.  It was one of those shows that I would catch once in a while on TV and always thought it was really funny but it just never stuck.  I watched seasons 1-4 on Netflix then I caught up w/ this current season on nbc.com.  OMG, what an effin hilarious show.  Tina Fey is some kind of comical GENIUS!  The humor is so subtle and witty, it's just awesome.  There is not a single character on that show that could be played by another actor and be as good.  Totally developed a crush on Alec Baldwin (plus he's the cutest of the Baldwin Brothers).  I heart me some Jack Donaghy.

I also refamiliarized myself with a few seasons of Six Feet Under.  I LOVED that show when it was on.  To me, the sign of an awesome show is one that moves me to tears.  That one did.  Often.  Do I need to mention that for about 3 years I wanted to have Peter Krause's babies? 

Hmmmm, I'm starting to see a trend here...

Any suggestions for my next series??

Licking

WOW, it has been a LONG time since I wrote on this blog page. I've been reading so many good blogs lately that it has inspired me to try and write here more often.

So...

My baby girl. She is five now. My only affectionate child. She used to love kisses from mommy. Not so much anymore. Whenever I try to give her kisses in public all I get in return are licks from her. I don't understand this behavior. I think she is asserting her independence from me now. I think she is trying to show dominance over me in front of other people.

I miss my clingy little girl who always wanted me to hold her. Who loved to give me hugs and kisses and loved when I kissed all over her. I guess I still have our private time together. She comes to my bed in the middle of the night and has to lay so close that she is actually touching me. She still loves for me to scratch her back. Reading books and snuggling every night before bedtime.

I know it's only going to get worse from here. She's already 5 going on 15, what is it going to be like when she really is 15? Well, hopefully she isn't still sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night...

Love you baby girl. And please stop licking me.