Going batty

So I've been home with the kids for a week and a half now.  Ay ay ay.  I just don't know if I'm cut out for this kind of lifestyle.  I mean entertaining these kids for 12 or 13 hours a day is just not something I am used to doing.  And the bickering.  The constant bickering is enough to drive anyone mad.  Last Monday, all I did was yell at them all day.  Over everything.  Then of course the guilt kicks in.  I don't like to yell at them all day, they are just so dang annoying sometimes.  I mean trying to sit down and write a blog first thing in the morning is like the most impossible task.  I've already been up 5 times just writing this one paragraph.  I've already threatened Jill about 3 times.  And there are 2 full moons running around my living room right now as I type this.  If you know what I mean.

Advantages of staying home with your kids all day:
Hmmm,,, still thinking about this one.

Disadvantages of staying home with your kids all day:
I find myself not managing my time very well.  On one hand it's nice to get out of bed at 8 or 830 but the time seriously gets away from me for the rest of the day.  And even though I am home with them, by the end of the day I don't feel like I've actually spent any time with them.  But I guess that's to be expected with older kids.  They're pretty independent.

I just want to go shopping everyday.  Part of this is that I'm trying to find good after Christmas sales.  So, literally, I am waiting for 75% off at Target.  Shopping = spending money.

There is no reason ever to look nice.  I haven't done my hair in over a week.  Haven't worn perfume.  And just putting on some powder and mascara is sporadic.

I won't bore you with the rest of my list.  There are quite a few more things I could add.

Being a working Mom my schedule is usually VERY structured.  My "on vacation" mentality when I'm not at work means time is just in freefall.  I'm sure if I didn't work I would have a better handle on this stay at home thing.  And for two weeks out of the whole year I feel like it's OK that I'm not very good at this.  My kids are extremely busy at school and with sports so I think they like the break from our normal schedule as well.

And I'm just joking about the not knowing the advantages of being home with them all day.  I know it's to have some help scrubbing toilets and mopping floors.

Props to all the SAHM's that actually make it work!  There's a special place in heaven for you.

Has anyone ever volunteered for the PTA?

I like to volunteer for my son's school when I can.  Last night I volunteered at the "holiday family party".  I feel like every time I show up to an event and say I'm here to volunteer they all look at me like I have two heads.  It's like they're confused and no one knows what to do.  Nobody gives any direction on what I can be doing to help and I have to constantly ask someone, anyone "is there anything I can be doing to help right now?".

So this one woman hands me two tubs of sprinkles and asks me to pour them into some bowls.  OK.  10 secs later I'm done.  What can I do now?  She hands me tablecloths and asks me to put them on the tables.  OK.  5 min later I'm done.  What can I do now?  No one knows.  I'm not the only one standing around looking like a dumb ass.  There is NOBODY that knows what is going on or what each individual should be doing.  At one point when I was standing around doing nothing looking like a dumb ass someone asked me "Now Debbie, what are you going to be doing?"  REALLY?  I had made the decision myself that I was going to volunteer in the Holiday shop.  It is really annoying.  It kind of makes me dread volunteering.

There is always the one lady that has her one little job and that's all she'll do.  One Mom announced "I'm ready at my station".  Standing in front of the chips and candy bars.  Not helping do anything else.  Why are you here?

Now you have to understand that most of these volunteer Moms have been volunteering together for years.  They all know each other and I don't know any of them.  There is one Mom that is there for every single thing the school does.  Daytime events, she's there.  Nighttime events, she's there.  And all these ladies like to stand around and bitch about the teachers and the principal and about how much "work" they do for the PTA.  Could you imagine bitching about something that you VOLUNTEER for?  Nobody forced you to be part of the PTA.

I mean is it really too much of me to expect that when I show up to an event that someone should know what I should be doing?  YOU - you're doing the ice cream station.  YOU - you're selling sweatshirts/tshirts.  YOU - you're cleaning bathrooms.  OK, I don't want that job.  Take your task and run with it and help out others as needed.  It doesn't seem that hard to me.  The PTA has been around for many years you would think they would have their shit together by now.  Come on people!  Ugh, the things I do for my kids, I tell ya...

Now I ask you again, could you imagine bitching about something that you volunteer for??

McDonalds

I only eat out for lunch 1 or 2 times a week.  The other days I bring my lunch to work.  Off all the places I have to choose from to eat at it's not uncommon of me to actually choose to eat at Mickey D's.  And to get away from my desk and to do some people watching I usually eat there by myself.  And everytime I go there I always wonder how all these other people made the decision to eat at Mickey D's that day.  I see a little old couple eating their hamburgers and fries and think to myself "how cute.  it's probably their little tradition to come to McD's once or twice a week for lunch."  Today, a group of 4 businessmen walk in, in suits and ties.  And I wonder how they ALL came to the decision to eat at McD's.  Perhaps they are in town on biz and McD's was the closest to the building they are working in?  Maybe they were just simultaneously having a Big Mac attack?  Why do I find it so hard to believe that there are other people in the world that would actually choose to eat at McD's for lunch?  I don't know, it's just weird to me.

I have a coworker that likes McD's more than I do.  I love me some Big Macs!  I remember being on a business trip with her in San Fran.  The street that our building was on, literally, had about 30 restaurants on it.  Every kind of food you could ever crave was on this one street.  I ate at a different place every day.  But she would actually walk past every one of these restaurants to the very end of the long strip of road to the only McD's in the area.  This was probably a good 1/4 mile walk.  FOR MCDONALDS.  I just found this crazy hysterical.  I have this mentality that when I travel, (for the most part) I don't want to eat at restaurants that I could eat at at home.

As for the people watching, I listened to two people next to me complaining about a certain coworker.  Taking breaks to check their smart phones every few minutes.  Obviously, something REALLY important was going on somewhere in the world that they just had to be in the loop on.

A grey haired, long grey-bearded older man walked in wearing a mickey mouse eared Santa hat.  For reals.

A single woman next to me was completely glued to whatever boring news program was reporting boring ass news on the TV.  Probably something about WikiLeaks.  Which, I'm kind of embarassed to say I have no idea what that is about.  Or that I don't even care what it's about.

All these totally weird and random thoughts going through my mind about all these people.

Then, of course, I wondered, "what is someone thinking about me right now?"  This lady sitting there, not glued to a smart phone or pretending to watch boring news.  Just sitting there eating her food, all alone.  Taking a break from her so called life.  In total peace.  Watching the world go on around her.

What I was really thinking to myself was "I REEEEAAAALLLLYYYYY don't want to go back to that place (work)."  ~~SIGH~~

What it's like watching TV with my husband when he has the remote

Any show that contains a Kardashian is always a must watch for him.  So we'll watch the opening segment of this or some other ridiculously heinous show like this one.  As soon as commercial break comes he immediately switches to another channel.  God forbid we watch even 1 second of a commercial!  This channel must always consist of some sporting event that is 20+ years old or some kind of documentary show about some super fabulous athlete that is the greatest thing known to man or some horrible movie that is 20+ years old (I swear, Conan the Barbarian and/or Predator is on every.single.night on some channel) or something on MTV.  Like Cribs.  Yes, Cribs.  He doesn't even know who half the people are on Cribs.  But he has to know what their house looks like.  He'll usually change the channel if I say something like "didn't we just watch Conan last night for like the one billionth time?"  This usually starts the endless 20-second-of-viewing-something kind of surfing.  We spend so much time watching TV in the "guide" mode that I have to squint to watch what's going on in Conan as if I haven't seen it a billion times already.  Then I get fed up and announce "I'm going to bed".

His latest thing is now putting on long running shows that we have never even seen one episode of.  The other night it was Two and a Half Men.  I said, "why are we watching this?".  He said, "because it's funny!"  Really?  Is it really so funny that we have to start watching it in syndication when we've never even seen a single episode?  No, it is not.  Do you know what syndication is for?  To watch shows that you used to watch and relive the glory of how fabulous they were.  Like Friends and Seinfeld.  Not catch up on new shows that you've never seen before in absolutely no kind of order at all.

The other night he tried to put on Rock Wives.  I was having no part of that.

I am so cheap

I am always trying to get something for free or at least for cheap.  I remember years back when I wanted to purchase a good flat iron.  Pay $80-$100 for a nice Chi w/ ceramic plates?  No way.  That's definitely not worth it in my mind.  The one they sell at Walgreens with the super cheap looking metal plates that sells for $15 has got to be just as good.  "You're just paying for the designer label" I tell myself.  But guess what, it's not anywhere near as good.  So now, not only did I invest in a nice flat iron, I also wasted money on other models thinking I was getting a good deal.

I've owned one designer purse in my whole life.  And I only bought it to support my sister-in-laws business.  Because do I really want to spend $100+ on a purse barely big enough to fit my cell phone and that gets used about twice a year?  Just to look all cool and fancy that I have a designer purse?  No, I do not.  Because I'm cheap.

Most recently, I was looking at Pandora bracelets and charms online.  Then I start thinking to myself "do i really want to spend close to $100 on a bracelet and some charms?"  I will let you guess the answer to that one.  So I go over to Amazon and start finding similar bracelets and charms for WAY less.  I got a bracelet and 2 bags of 50 piece (yes, bags of 50 charms) charms for LESS than what just the Pandora bracelet costs.  I am ecstatic!  Until they arrive.  First of all, I ordered the wrong size bracelet.  It was too small.  Second, it looked WAY cheap and snagged my arm hairs.  The charms are OK I guess.  The little center circles on most of them are all loose and fall off but as far as the look, they're not too bad.

So, I let Jill pick out some charms and I gave her the bracelet.  LOL.  Meanwhile, I've told my husband all about this because I think I'm so smart and I'm finally going to get away with being so cheap.  Then when I told him how cheap looking everything was he says "Why do you do this?  Just order the real thing."  "Because I always think I'm going to get away with it!" I say.

So, once again, I've had to invest in the real thing AND I've wasted my money on the cheap stuff.  I'm starting to convince myself that I am actually "investing" in nice things so that way it doesn't hurt so bad spending the big bucks.

When will I learn?  So much for saving myself some money.

Who does that?

I was reading this blog yesterday and this woman had an incredibly moving story to tell.  I will condense it for you.

Here she is, single, pregnant and in her early 20's.  She was living in a house rented with several friends.  She had a decent job.  Her immediate situation wasn't ideal but at least she had it under control.  But her future was a little uncertain.  So a few months into her pregnancy, one of her brothers calls her to say that him and Dad have discussed it and they decided that she is going to move into an extra room in their Dad's house.  And her sis-in-law was going to get her a job at the bank she worked at.  She felt like she had no choice but to accept this scenario for the long term.  So she would move into said brothers house while this room in the dad's house was getting "fixed up" for her.  2 mos later she is still at the brothers house.  She is suspecting something is wrong.  Turns out, the Dad never actually discussed this plan w/ his live in girlfriend and she is def NOT down with it.  At the same time, said brothers wife is starting to get major attitude w/ her living there.  So in the end, the brothers wife kicks her out and she can't stay w/ the Dad.  She ends up bouncing from couch to couch for the remainder of her pregnancy.  Eventually wearing out her stay everywhere she goes.  Because really, who wants a single mom w/ a newborn living in their living room?  One of those couches was her own mothers.  So now it's time to have the baby, her mother drives her to the hospital.  Well, she described it as her mother "dropped her off" at the hospital and took off.  The Mom comes to visit them later on and says to the daughter "You know you can't stay at my house, right?"  So here is this woman, homeless and in the hospital with a newborn.  She literally has nowhere to bring this newborn to when she gets discharged.  She is terrified.  And eventually, it came down to the kindness of a stranger that changed her life.  She was taken in by a local church family for a year.

The original story was posted in two, VERY LONG, posts and all I can think to myself the whole time is "who does this?" "who are these people?"  I don't think I've ever even known people like this.  My family was certainly not like this.

Now, I realize this is only her side of the story and I have no details on what lead up to all these people showing absolutely no support for her.  But man, my heart was breaking for her.  I even teared up a couple of times.

In her story she expressed how disappointed she was in two of her brothers who wouldn't take her in b/c their wives were not willing to help her out.  I do not agree with this.  When you're married, that person is your family now.  It causes major problems in a relationship when someone puts parent/sibling family over spouse/children family.  Really, she can't blame the brothers.  I mean, it would've been nice if the brothers were in a situation where they could have helped out but really it wasn't their responsibility.  However, as far as the brothers go, I hope they reflected on what type of women they married.  How could you respect your partner knowing that they would let your sister be homeless with a newborn rather than put their own selfishness/pettiness aside to help her out?  I don't think I could.  Let me tell you, I haven't spoken to my sister in 10 years but if she ever showed up on my doorstep with a newborn in hand and nowhere else to go, she would most definitely have a bed to sleep in!  Because you just don't do that.

As far as the mother goes, HOLY FUCK!!  Excuse my language.  Here is your pregnant daughter that is living on your couch.  You see what she is going through.  Terrified, alone.  You can't even give the girl a break?  Like I said, I don't know what happened in that relationship in the past, but, wow, I don't think I could ever do that either.  Be so callous and uncaring for my own child.  Even if you think she royally fucked up, GET OVER IT!  She needs your help now.  Wow, how different my life would be if I had a mother like that.

Now I am NOT one for being or supporting moochers.  And I think it can be a FINE LINE between helping someone get back on their feet and letting them mooch off you.  But if you read the story, the girl just needed a break.  She wasn't trying to mooch off anyone, she just needed some help.  I moved out of my parents house when I was 20 years old.  I never went back and I never asked them for money.  Not that I can recall at least :)  I just don't believe in not making your own way in life.

Well, anyway, this story just really touched me and I wanted to give my opinion about it.  I feel so thankful for my semi-normal family and I know that not a one of them would ever leave me out in the cold.

RIGHT??

Stuff, stuff and more stuff

My kids are obsessed with stuff.  With having stuff.  Getting stuff.  And buying stuff.  Every commercial they see, they want it.  Every catalog we get in the mail, they want it.  My kids have gone so far as to point out something totally weird or random in a catalog and ask for it.  I ask them "do you even know what that is?"  "no."  "but you want it?"  "yes."  What is with this feeling of wanting more and more stuff?  They totally don't realize yet that there is such a thing as too much stuff.  Stuff is overrunning our house. 

Once or twice a year I have to make it a point to get rid of stuff.  And yet, stuff is still everywhere.  It never goes away.

My kids ask for stuff and most of the time sometimes they get it.  My kids don't ask for stuff and they still get stuff.  I dream of the day when I get to get rid of all this stuff.

My daughter is like a little pack rat.  She makes multiple art projects at school daily.  I cannot keep all this stuff!  But if she sees me trying to throw one of her papers away she gets all panicky and has to take it from me and put it in her room.  So now her room is full of stuff as well.

I know there is some stuff that really makes me them happy.  Like clean sheets and cozy blankets to crawl in at night.  But Happy Meal toys?  Having 8 Zhu Zhu pets as opposed to just one or two?  Is this really necessary?

Liam has spent every dime he got for his birthday on Beyblades.  EVERY DIME.  One or two wasn't enough.  Now he has 8.

Now with Christmas coming up.  Good Lord.  I'm going to have to buy another house just to keep all their stuff in it.

I often wonder, does any or all of this stuff really make them happy?

And I totally feel that I am dropping the ball on instilling any type of gratitude in them for how lucky and fortunate they are in life.  They rarely have to earn their stuff.  They just get their stuff.  As if Santa visits our house everyday.

Tell me, what are some things you guys do to make your kids "earn" their stuff?

No longer a virgin...

to being a Black Friday shopper!!!!!  Oh, you thought I was talking about the other thing??  Um, yeah...

Anywho... I did it!  I went shopping on Black Friday.  However, I was not one of those crazy 3am shoppers.  I went at 6am.  I went to Walmart and Kohl's, only because of their proximity to each other.  And I had a Kohl's coupon.  I got some OK deals.  Pajamas and sweatshirts and some games for the kids.  All for under $5 each.  I was kind of hoping to snag one of those $89 Nintendo DS Lites from Walmart but the Black Friday gods did not smile upon me for that one.  I know, that's one of the deals that you can ONLY get at 3am.  But I'm OK with that.  I don't really need one.

My best deal of the day was some towels for the kids.  You know the ones where they look like a butterfly or a little monster for less than $7.  Nothing really to write home about.  But at least I can now say that I've been shopping on BF.  Today happens to be Cyber Monday... I'm going to spend my morning trying to find who has the best deal on Zhu Zhu's!

Oh, kinda funny story about the word virgin... Liam was asking Joe the other day about all our zodiac signs.  So Joe said that Jill and I were Virgos and Liam asked what the symbol for Virgo was.  So I said "it's the virgin".  Liam says, "what's a virgin?"  Joe and I just look at each other and Joe blurts out "it's someone who's pure of spirit".  Ha ha, good one Joe.

Holy Overload!

WOW, the amount of email I receive on a daily basis right now about black friday sales is overwhelming!  I have NEVER done Black Friday in my life.  However, this year I was considering it.  But how the heck do I know where to go?  I see that CVS is having a BOGO offer on Zhu Zhu's on Thursday.  But wait!, Big Lots is having a $4 Zhu Zhu sale on Friday for rewards members!  Is it worth it to wait to save $1?  Oh, and by the way, I already bought my kids a Zhu Zhu each back in JULY when CVS was having a Buy 2 Zhu Zhu's get a free armor sale.  So really, they don't need anymore.  But it's so tempting.  The deal is ssoooo good.  And for some reason I feel like I NEED to get more Zhu Zhu's.  Perhaps this is the retailers intention?

Now retailers open earlier or start their sales a day in advance.  A lot of stores are open ON Thanksgiving offering special sales just for those people that are willing to shop ON Thanksgiving.  There are online deals that are different from in store deals.  Don't forget about the sales leading up to the sales on Black Friday.  And the coupons, oh the coupons!  I can see how this Black Friday thing can make people absolutely crazy!  It is information overload.  AAAAAHHHHHHHHH, how do I know what the best deal is??????????

I just don't know if I can handle this.  I'm feeling the equivalent of "shrinkage" right now.  I'm just scared to go to the wrong place and get the wrong deal.  Because God help me, if I go shopping at 3am and find out that I could have saved myself $1 by not cooking my kids a bountiful Thanksgiving meal to go shopping for toys that they don't even need anyway, I'm gonna go postal on someone...

Happy Thaksgiving everyone!  And happy Black Friday shopping to those who dare.

I just LOVE stupid people...

In Target today.  3 out of the 25 lanes are open.  Two women in line in front of me, each separate.

First lady sees that second lady has teeny weeny baby shoes on the belt.  "Oh, aren't these precious?  You know, I'm going for a hysterectomy next Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving.  I have one child already, she's 16.  But I always wanted another baby."  REALLY lady, everyone in line needed to know that about you?  So now it's her turn to pay.  She doesn't even open her purse until the register lady is standing there looking at her.  "OH, I guess it would be good if I got my card out!  OMG, where's my bank card??!!  I just had it earlier when I got gas.  {searching... searching... searching...} OH, there it is!"  And for some reason it takes her another 5 min to pack up her crap and walk away.  BLURG!

Second lady is a little more on the ball.  As she is swiping her card the register lady gives her mandatory "would you like to save 10% by opening a Target charge account today?" speech, the lady starts literally huffing and puffing "I don't even know what that is".  At least she barely spoke English and she was probably just confused by what the lady was asking her.  She's half excused.

There is at least ONE instance a day where I wonder how people make it through their lives.  Because you know, I'm perfect ;)

Holidays

This has been such a weird holiday season so far.  I feel like so many people just aren't into it this year.  Including me.  Starting with Halloween.  And now Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving is usually MY holiday.  It is hosted at my house every year.  Usually up to 13 people show up.  It has been my fave holiday since I was a kid.  But this year, I just don't feel that into it and have been trying to get out of it.  I suggested to dear hubby that we spend this Thanksgiving in **GASP** - a restaurant!  I have NEVER EVER spent Thanksgiving in a restaurant.  But since we were down to only 2 or 3 people coming over this year I don't feel like putting that much effort into it.  But now, those people have canceled.  So now we are free to eat wherever we want.

And here's another weird thing.  I can't wait to get our Christmas tree this year!  Usually this is a major chore that I don't want anything to do with.  I want to get it a whole week earlier then we have in previous years.  I think it's because I just cannot wait to hang my ornaments.  I love opening them all up every year and reflecting on who/how/when I got each one.  And this year I got a new ornament from Pier 1 (the Mary and baby).  I LOVE these ornaments!  I only have 1 other like this one.  It is from 2000.  I have vowed to add to my collection every year from now on.  You should read the history of Li Bien.  It is very interesting.  They make GREAT Secret Santa gifts!

Knowing, that I'll be spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with just my little family, I feel grateful for all the years I've been able to spend the holidays with extended family.  You never know what life changes are going to come each year that will prevent people from spending time together.  Be thankful for the times you were able to be together.  Geez, I am getting really corny in my old age.

And to all my family I don't usually get to see around the holidays - I love you.  I miss you.

Dreaming of IKEA...

I have been wanting to go to my local IKEA store for probably at least a year.  I have in my head that I want a whole day to explore the 293k+ square foot location.  With no children.  I feel bad taking a Saturday or Sunday to go b/c these are usually the only days I get to be with my kids all day.  Then there are times when I just don't need anything or kind of forget about it for months at a time.  So tomorrow I have off.  For the past two days I have been browsing the website and decided that I just NEED to get some new window treatments.

So I have my whole plan down.  Meeting a friend for coffee after I drop Jill off at school, then off to IKEA!  With no children!  Maybe a little swedish meatball platter for lunch.  Sounds like a GREAT day off, right?

So I pick up Liam from school today and the first thing out of his mouth, "Mom, you're coming to my classroom tomorrow, right?"  Blurg.  Last week I told his teacher I wanted to volunteer in the classroom since I had the day off.  Because last week that's what I wanted to do with my day off.  But then I totally forgot about it.  So, I'm trying to feel Liam out as to whether or not he would actually care if I didn't go to his classroom.  It went like this:

"So, Liam, I was kind of thinking of not going to your classroom tomorrow."
"Why?"
"Because I was going to do something else."
"What?"
"Go shopping."
"No.  You can do that after school."

Ha ha, so there you have it folks.  I can't disappoint the kid.  He actually wants me in his classroom.  Which is so super cute.

I have a few more days off coming up so I guess there will be other opportunities.  DAMN YOU IKEA, so close yet so far away you are!

I hate Halloween.

It is the dumbest holiday ever.  I can't wait until it's over.  I can't wait until my kids outgrow it and don't want to dress up anymore.

But I do like to see all the cute little dressed up kids saying "trick or treat" at my door.

And we have a whole street in our neighborhood where they go crazy and decorate.  Strobe lights, fog machines, scary music, the works.  Scares the heck out of the kids.  That's fun.  And mean.

I have these neighbors, who grew up in this country, and they just don't celebrate Halloween.  Their kids have never dressed up or gone trick or treating.  I, honestly, never knew this was even an option.  When I had kids, I just assumed that we would always celebrate Halloween.  I mean, my dislike for the holiday only started as an adult.  When I was a kid, I loved Halloween as much as the next kid.

I'm thinking my neighbors have the right idea.  But then again, this is one of those things that could potentially make you "weird" amongst your friends as you grow up.  I don't want to do that to my kids.  Plus, some of our fondest memories looking back at our childhoods always involves Halloween.  I want to give that to my kids.

So I guess I'll continue to do the Halloween thing for my current kids but if I have anymore babies, they're SOL!

Oh, It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown is on tonight at 8pm EST.  Come on, who didn't love watching that as a kid?

Sometimes...

Sometimes I just don't want to do it anymore.  I don't want to wake up early anymore.  Go to work anymore.  Help with homework anymore.  Clean my house anymore.  Pay bills anymore.  Sit through another episode of Dragon Ball Z Kai or iCarly anymore.  Sometimes, I just don't want to be a grown up anymore.

Sometimes I just want to scoop up my family and move to the Galapagos Islands.  And live out the rest of our days amidst nothing.  Money doesn't exist.  School doesn't exist.  Bad things don't exist.  Drama doesn't exist.

Sometimes I just want to lock my kids in a big bubble to keep out the rest of the world.  The state of the world is so scary to me sometimes it is literally overwhelming.  I freak out about it.  I don't want my kids to even know about it.  About the "bad" stuff out there.  There's no need for them to know.  But one day they will know and they will need to be prepared.

Sometimes I will see a baby picture of one of my kids and I can barely even remember when they were that little.  Then I get all worried I will not remember anything about their childhoods.  Time is moving so fast anyway, how can I keep all these memories in my head?

But in reality I know that I cannot really do any of these things.  The scariest thing I'm realizing about being a parent is that one day I will not be the one making their decisions anymore.  It will be all them.  And the true job of a parent is making sure they are prepared, not shielding them, for the big bad world.  It's a daunting task for sure.

And sometimes, I realize that my mother probably had all these same feelings and I feel bad I wasn't a better daughter to her.

I LOVE Netflix!!

I have started using streaming Netflix (through PS3) to catch up on old TV shows.  First, I refamiliarized myself with Arrested Development.  OMG, one of the funniest shows EVER on TV.  I loved it when it was on the air and rewatching all the episodes just reminded me how twisted that show really was.  Totally developed a crush on Jason Bateman.  NOBODY else could've played Michael Bluth.


Then, it took me a couple of months to watch all 6 seasons of Nip/Tuck.  I was years late on that one.  I think the show started in 2004 and ended in 2009.  Really good show.  Had some extremely over the top situations happen to those guys.  Kind of like Big Love (which I also loved).  Makes you wonder if stuff like that REALLY happens to people in the world.  Totally developed a crush on Dr. Christian Troy.  What a cutie :)

I recently just got totally caught up on 30 Rock.  It was one of those shows that I would catch once in a while on TV and always thought it was really funny but it just never stuck.  I watched seasons 1-4 on Netflix then I caught up w/ this current season on nbc.com.  OMG, what an effin hilarious show.  Tina Fey is some kind of comical GENIUS!  The humor is so subtle and witty, it's just awesome.  There is not a single character on that show that could be played by another actor and be as good.  Totally developed a crush on Alec Baldwin (plus he's the cutest of the Baldwin Brothers).  I heart me some Jack Donaghy.

I also refamiliarized myself with a few seasons of Six Feet Under.  I LOVED that show when it was on.  To me, the sign of an awesome show is one that moves me to tears.  That one did.  Often.  Do I need to mention that for about 3 years I wanted to have Peter Krause's babies? 

Hmmmm, I'm starting to see a trend here...

Any suggestions for my next series??

Licking

WOW, it has been a LONG time since I wrote on this blog page. I've been reading so many good blogs lately that it has inspired me to try and write here more often.

So...

My baby girl. She is five now. My only affectionate child. She used to love kisses from mommy. Not so much anymore. Whenever I try to give her kisses in public all I get in return are licks from her. I don't understand this behavior. I think she is asserting her independence from me now. I think she is trying to show dominance over me in front of other people.

I miss my clingy little girl who always wanted me to hold her. Who loved to give me hugs and kisses and loved when I kissed all over her. I guess I still have our private time together. She comes to my bed in the middle of the night and has to lay so close that she is actually touching me. She still loves for me to scratch her back. Reading books and snuggling every night before bedtime.

I know it's only going to get worse from here. She's already 5 going on 15, what is it going to be like when she really is 15? Well, hopefully she isn't still sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night...

Love you baby girl. And please stop licking me.

Coming down

I'm starting to come down from a very busy 3 weeks at work. It kind of feels good to be "bored" again. I have a much needed 10 day vacation coming up. I will be taking my two kids to NJ to visit with their cousins. However, traveling alone with two children should hardly be considered a "vacation". It's more stressful then being at home with them. Not to mention all the "getting ready" for vacation! But I was smart and planned for half of our vacation to be spent at home. Hopefully doing not much more than watching movies and going to the park.

I'm looking forward to seeing a friend I haven't seen in 10 yrs! And meeting her two little boys. And for her to meet my two little ones.

Interesting...

I just got one of my credit card statements and I noticed on it there is now a section that has a breakdown of how long it would take you to pay off your balance if you only made your minumum payment. If I only paid my $15 a month min due, it would take me 4 yrs to pay off my $526 balance. 4 YEARS! It also showed that I would pay $33 in interest over those 4 yrs. Holy cow, no wonder the credit card companies are making BILLIONS every year. Could you imagine taking 4 yrs to payoff $526? Hmmm, I don't even want to know how much I will have paid on my mortgage when that gets paid off in 29 yrs. 29 yrs... ugh...

So long January...

Wow, a whole month gone in the blink of an eye.

So dang cute...

So, I have this very bad habit of grabbing my children by the shoulders and gently moving them out of my way whenever they are in my way, instead of just saying excuse me. So I did this to my daughter last night and I said to myself, "why do i do that? it is so rude, just say excuse me." So I went over to my daughter and apologized for doing it to her and that from now on I'm going to say excuse me when I need her to move. She loves to tell me "secrets" in my ear. So she says "Mama, let me tell you a secret" so I bend down so she can whisper in my ear. "Don't tell anyone but you can push me out of the way whenever you want to and I will still love you", she says to me. Unconditional love doesn't come more unconditional than that. I picked her up and told her that it is NOT OK for me to do that to her and I won't do it anymore. Then she squeezed me so hard I thought she was going to pop my head off.

And this people, is why having kids is the most amazing experience in the whole wide world.

And I'm back...

Having 17 days off work in a row has its pros and cons.

Pros:
I had half a month off!
Being able to stay in bed until whenever we (me and the kids) wanted.
Watching lots of TV and movies.
Naps... ahhh, lovely naps.

Cons:
Going back to work.
Going back to work.
Going back to work.

It's like living in some kind of suspended reality. We do nothing but eat junk food and watch TV despite all my grand plans of "taking them here" and "doing that". And of course, doing school work everyday! Weirdly enough, life does not seem normal unless I am in the routine of a work schedule. All life revolves around the work/school schedule. The thought of not working is kind of scary to me. But it's nice to pretend once a year.

Well, I'm back to the land of the working. Yay for me. I was getting used to getting paid to sit at home watching TV and taking my kids to the park.

I have spent my entire morning researching travel packages to Ireland. Me and my hubby have wanted to go for YEARS now and now we have this cockamamy idea to actually move there. We're thinking of going for a week in Oct. After all, how can you move to a country you never even visited? We also have a strange travel phenomena. The first time we visit somewhere we LOVE it and discuss moving there. The second time we visit, it's OK but wonder if it's actually worth moving there. The third time, we're over it. It's just like everywhere else and def not worth the hassle of moving there. But we'll see about Ireland. Neither one of us has ever even been out of the country before so it will be a major culture shock.