Liam is really starting to notice his body lately. He
makes comments like "when am I going to get my growth spurt?". He asks
me questions all the time like "what's a good exercise for your pecs?"
Or, "how do I get a 6 pack?" He's 12. He's definitely at the stage of
body awareness. He's put on quite a few pounds in the last year but
hasn't quite sprouted upwards. He's got a little pudgy belly going.
He'll look in the mirror and squeeze it into a dimply mass and say "look
how fat I am. This is so ugly." The other night at the dinner table,
he was so discouraged that he hasn't been seeing a lot of results with
the exercising he's been doing lately and stated, "I'm just going to
stop eating". I know he meant this statement very innocently but those
words literally slapped me right across the face when he said them. How
can my perfect little angel not see how beautiful he is?
I tell him things like, he is beautiful and exactly the way he was meant to be. That his body is just starting to go through the stages of becoming a grown up body. It will have many different looks over the next few years. I tell him that not eating at all is NOT HEALTHY! And he should never ever do that. Instead, I try to explain/show him how he can start making positive changes in his body. Give up the sugar. Get off the couch. I tell him to never talk down to himself. Never speak to himself, in a way he wouldn't talk to me. I said, "Liam, would you ever tell me that I'm ugly or that my body is fat and ugly?". He said, no. I said, "well, then never say those things to yourself." But I know from experience that other people's words won't change his thinking. Only he can.
I remember being in high school and thinking that I was so fat I NEEDED to lose weight. I made my self a weight loss shake every morning before school. I was 120 pounds. My parents, and no one else really, just couldn't understand! But I had convinced myself, and nobody could convince me otherwise.
I know we all like to think that it's girls that suffer from poor body image. But boys do too. It's a very real thing. It's not even a gender thing, quite honestly. It's a human thing. I don't know why that voice in our head that tells ourselves we're fat or ugly or wrinkly or unworthy of love isn't wired to tell us that we're beautiful or perfect or unique or worthy instead. We are the only ones that have the power to MAKE that voice tell ourselves those things. But I don't think there is a human on Earth that at one point hasn't suffered through some poor body image. So I know this is totally normal. But as in all situations of being a mother, I want to take that all away from my children. I don't ever want them to be scared or insecure or experience pain. But it is the human experience to experience all of these things. I guess the best thing I can do is just be there to hold their hands and just let them know how perfectly beautiful I see them.
I tell him things like, he is beautiful and exactly the way he was meant to be. That his body is just starting to go through the stages of becoming a grown up body. It will have many different looks over the next few years. I tell him that not eating at all is NOT HEALTHY! And he should never ever do that. Instead, I try to explain/show him how he can start making positive changes in his body. Give up the sugar. Get off the couch. I tell him to never talk down to himself. Never speak to himself, in a way he wouldn't talk to me. I said, "Liam, would you ever tell me that I'm ugly or that my body is fat and ugly?". He said, no. I said, "well, then never say those things to yourself." But I know from experience that other people's words won't change his thinking. Only he can.
I remember being in high school and thinking that I was so fat I NEEDED to lose weight. I made my self a weight loss shake every morning before school. I was 120 pounds. My parents, and no one else really, just couldn't understand! But I had convinced myself, and nobody could convince me otherwise.
I know we all like to think that it's girls that suffer from poor body image. But boys do too. It's a very real thing. It's not even a gender thing, quite honestly. It's a human thing. I don't know why that voice in our head that tells ourselves we're fat or ugly or wrinkly or unworthy of love isn't wired to tell us that we're beautiful or perfect or unique or worthy instead. We are the only ones that have the power to MAKE that voice tell ourselves those things. But I don't think there is a human on Earth that at one point hasn't suffered through some poor body image. So I know this is totally normal. But as in all situations of being a mother, I want to take that all away from my children. I don't ever want them to be scared or insecure or experience pain. But it is the human experience to experience all of these things. I guess the best thing I can do is just be there to hold their hands and just let them know how perfectly beautiful I see them.
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