The lies we tell, Part 1

I'm not a person that believes in lying.  I believe that when you lie to someone you actually take away that person's ability to make an informed decision about whatever the situation may be.  Scenario #1:

Husband to wife:  "Are you cheating on me?"
Wife's response:  "Of course not baby, I love you!"

Wife is lying.  So husband goes on with his merry little life, albeit, with a gut feeling that something just isn't right, but - HEY, I trust my wife, I know she wouldn't lie to me.  He decides to believe her and move on with their life together.  His decision to sweep his suspicions under the rug for the sake of love and trust are based on a lie.  Does Scenario #1 make him look like a stupid fool?  Yes, yes it does.  Wife has taken away his ability to make an informed decision about his own life.   <------- That's not a very nice wifey :(

Scenario #2:


Husband to wife:  "Are you cheating on me?"
Wife's response:  "Yes, my darling husband, I have been unfaithful to you."

Wife is telling the truth.  Husband is devastated.  The truth hurts like hell.  He decides to stay and work it out because he loves her.  His decision to stay with his wife for the sake of love and trust is based on the truth.  Does Scenario #2 make him look like a stupid fool?  Well maybe to some people.  But mostly he looks like a guy that loves a girl and doesn't want to lose her.  Wife has given him the ability to make an informed decision about his own life.   <------- That's a much nicer wifey :)

See the difference there?  I believe there are 2 main reasons why people lie.  #1 - they lie because they think that whatever their lying about is what the other person wants to hear.  #2 - they lie because it's hard as hell to look someone you love in the face and hurt them with the truth (being cowardly and covering your own ass are accounted for under #2).

In Scenario #1, wife lied because she thought husband wanted to hear that she wasn't cheating.  Because, obviously, he will leave me if he knows the truth!  Obviously, he won't love me anymore!  Obviously, I have to admit that I'm not a perfect person and I make mistakes!

In Scenario #2, husband could have decided to walk away.  But I guess that's the chance you take when you cheat in the first place.  But that's never what he wanted.  He just wants to love his wife and have her love him back.

The moral of this post?  DON'T DO STUPID SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO LIE ABOUT IT LATER!