Mayonnaise

Some of you will find this post completely ridiculous or petty.  And, in some ways, I agree.  I mean, it's just freaking mayonnaise.  But something happened two weeks ago that bothered me so much that I actually woke up LAST night still bothered by it!

Let me start off by saying that Joe is a fairly picky eater.  He has A LOT of dietary "restrictions".  When you live with, and especially cook for a picky eater, you basically become a slave to that person's "rules".  Can't make chicken wings because HE doesn't eat meat off bones.  Can't make pork of any variety because HE doesn't eat pork.  GOD FORBID the slightest speck of mayonnaise ever touch any of his food because HE doesn't like it.  The list can go on and on... anyway, back to the point.  I think back to all the times I made roasted potatoes or some kind of mayo-less pasta salad or couscous salad to please HIM.  Could I have bought store bought potato salad or coleslaw or made pork chops for dinner, yes, of course.  And he would've just been SOL.  But that's not how I was (am).  So onto the actual point of this post...

The other weekend Joe and I and the kids go out for lunch.  We went to this sandwich shop that I don't eat at very often (but Joe takes them there all the time) so I asked Joe "what do you usually eat here?", he said "just the turkey sandwich".  So I look at the description for the sandwich and it lists "mayo, lettuce, tomato" as the toppings.  So I think to myself (still!) "oh, he probably orders no mayo".  So when the time came to order, he was busy doing something with the kids so I just ordered 3 turkey sandwiches.  Didn't bother to specifiy "no mayo".  So we sit down to eat and Joe just digs right in.  I said, "so you eat mayo now?"  He responds, "oh, why, did I used to not eat mayo?  I just eat it how it comes."  ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!  I literally, almost lost my appetite.  "oh, why, did I used to not eat mayo?"  ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!  I bent over backwards to make sure mayo never made it's way into your life for over 10 years because you HATE IT SO BAD!  I seriously wanted to tell him to fuck off.  But the kids were there.

It just makes me think, is this some kind passive aggressive behavior to used to control me all those years?  What other kind of tactics did he use to keep me in line?  It pisses me off so bad.  I know guys, I know.  It's just freaking mayonnaise!  It's stupid and petty and completely meaningless in the grand scheme of life.  It reminds me of the time (years ago when we still lived together) he took the kids out for burgers with Uncle Jim one day.  And Liam came running in the house screaming "Mama, daddy brought a shake home for you!"  Aww, how sweet right?  It was chocolate.  Anyone that has known me for longer than 5 min knows I DON'T LIKE CHOCOLATE!  Except my own husband.  So I had to stand there and say in front of everyone "I don't like chocolate" and look like a completely ungrateful asshole.  I, literally, almost cried.  It seriously hurt my feelings so bad.  Passive aggressive much?