So for a while now I have had the feeling that something was just not making sense with Joe. From the things that he's saying to the things that he's doing. Something was just fishy. And tonight, it came out. After looking him straight in the eyeballs and asking him 20 times to tell me the truth, Joe admitted he has been dating another woman. And I found this out about an hour before our first counseling session. Oh the joy.
He was getting annoyed with me because I kept saying "dating". Because, at first he tried to tell me it was only one date. It took me telling him 20 times to stop lying for him to admit he met her more than once. This is a 10 year long "friend" of his. A woman he says he knows wants to be with him. He says he won't apologize for doing it. He needed to do it. Oh, and he's been talking to his friends about it. Really? Really?
What am I supposed to do with this? Do you know how many lies it took for him to pull off this ONE date? How many times he lied straight to my face when I confronted him about it (well if you can do simple addition, about 40 as stated above)? Do you know what it feels like to be lied to straight to your face like that? It sucks.
Some sick part of me knows that I totally drove him to do this to me. And that I deserve this. But still, the little trust I had left in him is completely shattered. In one instant, my husband became the lying cheating husband. It sucks. Although, he insists nothing happened between them. If that's the truth.
Oh, and counseling? Waste of time. First of all, the doctor was close to 15 min late for our 45 min session. And we cut off exactly at ending time. Ugh. Just about everything that Joe and I talked about we have actually already talked about. So not too much new stuff came out. I know it's only the first session. We'll keep going. Can't wait to see what comes out next.
Let me ask you guys, does being separated from your spouse give you the right to date other people?
Oh Deb....I figured this was happening..If u r "Married" then u have a commitment to each other..U have soooo much going for u.....just remember be true to yourself...sometimes we just have to move on....Joe can't have it "both" ways and u should not have to put up with this...I know it's hard when you love someone so much...please don't blame yourself...it takes 2 to break up a marriage and Joe made a conscious decision to see someone else...I don't know where u go from here but Joe needs to get honest...we love u and are always here for u...xoxo
ReplyDeleteNO!
ReplyDeleteIf your SEPERATED why do your care? Sounds like you have not accepted the seperation.
ReplyDelete7ad093c2-5554-11e0-b028-000bcdcb8a73, not sure who your are but that is a horrible statement! SEPERATED, so why care!!!! They are still living in the same house trying to figure things out and dating other people at that time is a slap in the face. Unfortunately you got your way based on the next posting, I guess Deb is ACCEPTING, not the SEPERATION but the fact they will not be together at all, there is still a healing process that comes after that as well, unlike you 7ad093c2-5554-11e0-b028-000bcdcb8a73, some people need a lot of time to accept what just suddenly disappeared. Lost of spouse, lost of seeing your own kids when you want, lost of financial stability and possibly the lost of your own home that you worked so hard to keep up. Those are just a few of the things that get affected, and time will heal all wounds, but not that quickly. Be careful of what you post, but heck what do I know, maybe your just a fast learner. Best of luck Joe, I love you Deb, your brother Edward.
ReplyDeleteha, thank you ed. i wasn't even going to dignify that hurtful response with an answer. but you said it perfectly for me.
ReplyDeleteGed and I totally agree with you Ed....very "hurtful and insensitive" post...We love you Deb and wish "all" of you the best....
ReplyDeleteJoe gave up on the marriage the day he started that relationship. How were you to know and it is not acceptable. You are still married, going to counseling and living together. If he was wanting to be with someone else he would have been a bigger man owning up to it and not leaving you with false hope.
ReplyDeleteYour dearest friend. I am here for you if you need me.
I am so disappointed in JOE. I wish we could make him see what he is throwing away. I just want you to know that Bob and I are always here for you, Deb. Love you! Louise
ReplyDeleteDating other people is inconsistent with the notion of saving your marriage; there's no doubt about that. I feel sick to my stomach, Deb. I think Joe is going to look back at this episode in his life with nothing but regret.
ReplyDeleteIt is not accecptable to date while seperated, going to counceling or attempting to go to counseling, and...living in the same house together. Kills me!!!
ReplyDeleteWell I guess he's not much of a man if her can do that to you.It is not your fault and you didn't push him to doi,he just isn't a very senetive or thoughtful person.
ReplyDelete